User Error
by Rebel Paisley
Summary: Cam tries out some new flirting methods that Dustin wholeheartedly approves of. Seriously, they were the best; but Dustin couldn't help but feel it might be better if Cam stopped pretending he didn't know what was going on. It sort of ruined the mood.


User Error

First in the Cyber Love Chronicles

Summary: While Cyber Cam is still in his testing phases he tries to woo Dustin. It doesn't end well.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story.

Dustin/Cam, established pairing.

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><p>Dustin didn't notice <em>exactly<em> when he won the great cookie battle, he had been too busy celebrating his victory with his mad dancing skills to notice, but eventually he managed to convince Cam that chocolate chip cookies were the best afternoon snack _ever_. He knew they weren't good for you, he's wasn't trying to get Cam to eat like a million of them, but every once and while, you know. Delicious.

And while Cam would never admit Dustin won out loud, (you know, because he's Cam and being right about stuff kept his cholesterol down, or something) the yellow ranger was still given a sign of the other's surrender, in the most tastiest of fashions.

Like he said, he's not sure _when_ it began, but every once and awhile when he was raiding the Ops' kitchen after a long run or an intense round at the track there would be this plate of steaming hot cookies just waiting there, begging to be eaten. And they were always warm, like they had been just made. Somehow Cam managed to time his random arrivals down to the point where he could deliver a plate of fresh baked goodness that was merriment incarnate without scorching his tongue. Definitely hardcore. Dustin never bothered asking Cam how he managed it; the yellow ranger didn't always call before coming in (surprise visits were his favorite), and he while he enjoyed being a winner he didn't want to rub it in Cam's face. That would make him feel bad, and more importantly, the cookies could go away.

And Dustin liked his cookies. _A lot._

And if all he had to do to keep them coming was to _not_ talk about it, he could totally do that.

…as long as he didn't get confused. But hey, as long as he had cookies in his mouth, he couldn't talk right?

Besides, Cam was a good enough pretender to do the work for both of them. Last time he caught Dustin enjoying the fruits of his labor he acted like_ Dustin_ had done it. The yellow ranger had applauded that one, laughing around his delicious treats, but Cam remained impassive, going so far as to raise and eyebrow in his _"your awesomeness confuses my poor intellectual brain"_.

Dustin comforted his brain confusion with a kiss.

The questions were dropped after that.

And then one of the electrical outlets started sparking and Cam went back to doing his job, grumbling about his work never being done.

From that day on Dustin pretended he "made" the cookies and always saved some for Cam, laughing just about every time the tech pulled off looking genuinely pleased.

His boyfriend was weird.

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So, during one of Dustin's less thought out-but very _well intended_ attempts to find an activity he and Cam could enjoy together, Dustin discovered that he was an epic failure at the game of chess. He thought it would be fun, it was a board game after all, it was like…impossible for them _not _to be fun, and it looked a lot like checkers so could he really be blamed for this assumption? Chess was the kind of thing Cam _had_ to enjoy. It was a game smart people played, and while Dustin wasn't smart, he figured he could at least put up a decent fight for a little while, because it was still a _game_.

Except he hadn't accounted for the fact there were like, a million rules, and certain pieces could only move certain ways and they all had special names and he kept getting them mixed up in his head. The knights and the pawns were easy, but rooks? Where did they go? And there was…the tall skinny ones…what were they, bishops? And he kept confusing his king and queen, because they both looked alike but for some odd reason Cam said the queen was more important which didn't make sense because he was pretty sure you had to go after the _king_…

He made it through ten minutes of very frustrating game play before Cam took pity on him and called it quits, declaring that chess was simply, "not his thing."

He wanted it to be 'his thing', but alas, 'his thing' it was not meant to be.

…or so he thought.

Because he came in one day, slightly frazzled from a long haul at work (and wanting nothing more than to _not_ think for a little while) but he knew he had to fix that loose bolt on his tsunami cycle while he still remembered it. It was a fairly quick process, speedy (because he was awesome like that) and he was in the middle of stowing away the tool kit when he spotted the chessboard inconspicuously set up on the far end of the work bench, note tucked underneath it. Curious, he unfolded the paper.

It contained a simple, computer printed message.

"_You take white. I'll take black. Move one piece at a time wherever you see fit. Screw the rules."_

His cheeks hurt from smiling so broadly, and he moved his knight to a black square, not caring if it was right or not. After that every time he visited the garage a black piece would be moved, just as sporadic and nonsensical, and soon Dustin became an expert at what he fondly labeled "kamakazi chess". Eventually they'd dwindle down to nothing, Cam seemed to know all the rules that Dustin never established, and when the board _did_ become empty it would magically set itself back up again, the small printed note becoming a score sheet that neither one of them really cared about.

But because spontaneity wasn't really what Cam was known for Dustin never talked about their game, not to the tech or the rest of the team. He'd occasionally make fond off-hand comments about a game in the garage, and every time Cam would give him the same bemused look that said he was completely unaware of the awesome he was hinting at. And then the lights would flash, sometimes, flickering in and out, but that was probably unrelated.

…what was he thinking, of _course_ it was unrelated.

It would be weird for Cam to flash the lights just to celebrate their secret game.

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Dustin hadn't expected the texting.

He hadn't even known Cam _had_ a cell phone, let alone the will to actually use the thing when they saw each other on a regular basis and could always talk over their morphers pretty much whenever they wanted. Dustin would have thought it was a trick from Lothor if Cam hadn't ninja'd away his phone at some point (it had to be) and programmed his number in. Dustin wasn't sure _when_ it happened, but one day his phone cheerfully informed him that he had a text from Cam. Foulness still could have been afoot, but Cam was a super smart guy and threw in enough of their super secret inside jokes to let Dustin know that this spontaneity was loving and legit.

Dustin liked it a lot. He didn't always have his phone on him when he got them, sometimes he would misplace it, or forget to check it, or charge it, and _then_ he would have this backlog of random messages that always made his day. They were great. Fun and random, like Cam was really cutting loose. He knew that the tech was still getting used to…well, this, playing together, so Dustin took what he would give with open arms, gladly accepting this funny, quirky side of his boyfriend.

Sometimes he would even text Cam first. Like on a particularly rainy day where the others were busy and he didn't feel like getting soaked so he didn't run to Ninja Ops. Not that showing up wet didn't have its perks. Cam was very accommodating when it came to helping Dustin dry off, but the mechanic knew his boyfriend needed to get his certain doo-dad project thing done today so he settled for moping about his house and sending off random messages. No pressure to reply there.

It would rain other days.

_**From: Dustin**_

_**It's raining, no riding at the track today :(**_

Tori had taught him how to do the text smile faces and he was kind of in love with them _a lot._

He waited anxiously for a few minutes before giving up and deciding to better use his time by making soup when the phone buzzed against his comforter, and he snatched up excitedly.

_**From: Cam**_

_**Doesn't mean you can't go outside**_

Dustin frowned, puzzling over what the appropriate response would be before shrugging and firing off the first thought that had popped into his head.

(When in doubt, don't second guess yourself.)

_**From: Dustin**_

_**I'll get wet**_

His phone buzzed about eight seconds later, because Cam had mad typing skills.

_**From: Cam**_

_**Exactly, it'll be a party.**_

The yellow ranger smiled, glad to know he wasn't the only one who appreciated the effects of the rain, and shot off another message, trying to keep in the playful mood for the sake of both their libidos.

_**From: Dustin**_

_**Disco rave in the rain?**_

That would be awesome. Granted, most things with Cam were pretty awesome, but mad-disco-rave sounded like one of his more particularly awesome ideas.

The phone buzzed again.

_**From: Cam**_

_**Better than soup**_

The happy glowing feeling of warmth was totally justified at that comment, Cam's easy familiarity with all things Dustin made the mechanic stare at his phone with a goofy smile on his face for a good ten seconds before he remembered he should probably reply.

He smirked, typing out his message.

_**From: Dustin**_

_**Good sir, I challenge your theory**_

How about that, sounding all hoity-toity and stuff. There was no way Cam could object to an invitation like that.

As expected, he didn't.

_**From: Cam**_

_**I duly accept, commence mad disco rave at dawn**_

_Aww_...there would never be any threat of Cam not being his favorite. Dustin's pretty sure the world would explode about eighteen times before he even _considered_ Cam not-being his favorite. Because he totally was. He was super favorite. And funny, and sexy.

And Dustin really, _really_ wanted to be with him right now.

Alas, it was not meant to be.

He smiled wryly, politely turning down Cam's invitation.

_**From: Dustin**_

_**Raincheck for your doo-dad.**_

Pun totally intended.

He shot off another message before Cam could get disappointed.

_**From: Dustin**_

_**Next time?**_

Sure, they _could_ possibly get sick, but dancing in the rain…that sounded like something you should do at least _once _in your lifetime. And if you had to do it, you might as well have the best company the world could offer.

Cam, being a genius, was of a similar opinion.

_**From: Cam**_

_**It's a date**_

And it totally was.

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"I promise this time dude, I am totally going to beat you."

Unfortunately the epic amount of enthusiasm he had used to convey this message didn't really do much to support the authenticity of it. Dustin had made similar declarations to Cyber Cam about eight times now, all serious and heartfelt, but inevitably the super-computer/hologram/video-game-wizard had smacked him down so hard he was surprised his ego was still intact. But he wasn't one to give up. That was not a quality of a Power Ranger.

At least Cyber Cam let him win _sometimes_. Dustin would probably still play video games with him anyway (Cam's hologram was the only one willing to play racing games with him) but it was nice to know that he wouldn't _always_ lose. Just…most of the time.

But hey, he got to play his game _and_ be close to Cam, so it wasn't a complete loss.

"Dude, you've totally said that like, eight times now."

"Yeah," Dustin replied distractedly, nailing the turn without running into any of the walls, "but this time I can _feel_ it."

Two minutes later victory was his.

Cyber Cam pretended to be disappointed, but Dustin could totally tell he was pleased at how happy the yellow ranger was. Program or not, Cyber Cam was a really good friend. Dustin didn't know why Cam complained about him so much.

Must be a programmer thing.

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Dustin's not entirely sure how the super-intelligent, multi-functioning, gift-from-the-gods piece of technological wonderment managed to lose track of the best, fluffiest blanket in all of Ninja Ops, the only thing that Dustin knew was that one day it was in the tv room and the next day it wasn't and Cam was too busy to even remember where the tv room _was_ let alone move things out of it. And since Dustin didn't move it and everyone else just gave him the kind of confused, blank stare whenever he asked _them_ about it he decided that maybe the source of this tomfoolery was a certain, prank-loving super computer.

…except _he_ didn't seem to know either, but he's nice and always happy to help so he cheerfully began checking (in that computer/camera/techy way) Ninja Ops room by room so that Dustin could get back his fuzzy ocean of comfort.

He couldn't really do much to contribute, but the mechanic attempted to help by throwing out random suggestions. It wasn't like Cyber Cam could get distracted anyway.

"Did you check the attic?"

Did they have one of those?

"There is no attic."

That answers _that_ question.

"Did you check the basement?"

Slight pause, though Dustin knew that was just to give the allusion of thinking. "Technically, this is a basement."

"Oh." He tilted his head. "Secret rooms?"

"Checked."

Dustin leaned forward eagerly, "You mean there are secret rooms?"

Cyber Cam knew where he was going.

Because he was cyber.

"Wouldn't be a secret if I told you."

Dustin pouted.

Cyber Cam amended.

"I'll tell you later."

_Victory_.

Dustin smiled. "Did you check the closets?"

Amused cyber chuckle. "You're a closet."

Dustin pouted again. "Your face is a closet." He paused, trying to think of how to complete it. "Of lies."

There was a slight pause where he thought he might have actually offended Cam's program, so he attempted to rectify it. "But it's a really pretty closet."

Apparently it was the right thing to say because Cyber Cam sounded happy whenever he replied. "Your closet's pretty too."

Dustin smiled, basking under the praise. "Thanks," chirped, glowing. A compliment was a compliment. "You can come in my closet any time. We can have parties."

It would be about the same as any other kind of party, just…less room.

There's another chuckle, "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Yep, Cyber Cam was a good friend.

Three minutes later the fuzzy blanket is located, surprisingly enough exactly where Dustin had left it before.

_Weird_.

He must have just missed it.

Oh well, at least he still had fun while looking for it.

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Dustin was beginning to see why Cyber Cam and regular Cam might be having issues, because while _he_ had no idea that the person sneaking down the hallway _wasn't_ a burglar who burgled things (so he _might_ have watched one to many thriller movies with Cyber Cam) the computer program most certainly _did_ and could have shared this information with Dustin in time for him to avoid kicking his boyfriend in the back of the head. Oh he acted innocent; complete with thumb twiddling, but Dustin just _knew_ the program wanted to see Cam get whacked upside the head. They had issues. He should consider sitting them down for therapy sometime. That is, if he could trick Cam into it.

Speaking of which…

"I'm sorry," Dustin whispered, trying to be quiet so as not to aggravate the pounding headache he knew Cam had to have, "I totally thought you were a monster or something."

"Or a burglar," Cyber Cam added, trying to be helpful.

"Or an axe murderer," Dustin continued, because you did _not_ want to hesitate when dealing with an axe murderer, he's seen the movies.

"An axe burglar?" Holo-Cam offered, and Dustin immediately jumped back on, giddy excitement making him forget the initial purpose of the conversation.

"He'll kill us all and steal our axes!"

"He can't have them!" Cyber Cam replied, and the two friends started off mock posing for fights, preparing to defend against the dreaded axe burglar.

Regular Cam didn't think it was very funny.

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It had taken a great deal of convincing, a bucket full of pinky swears, and a rather intricate dance Dustin demanded in lieu of the standard 'pledge upon one's honor' before the yellow ranger allowed Cyber Cam to keep him company during shower times. Well… that was relative. There weren't any cameras _in_ the locker room, Cam had sworn it so and Hunter had already double checked anyway, because that's just how he was, but there was still something odd about a disembodied voice interrupting a time that was usually so isolated and lonely.

And it wasn't like showering could be avoided. Dustin couldn't help it, he got dirty easily. Whether it was because of the track or because of training or because it was Tuesday, it didn't really matter, it just…happened. And then Cam would give him this look that said _'bath or no love-muffin time'_ and the curly-haired teen would inevitably make his way to the now very familiar shower room. It used to be one of his least favorite times of day (not because of the getting clean part, he was cool with that) because sometimes it would take a while and it would just be him…alone…and sad and he would have to remember all the great ideas he had come up with to share with Cam until it was over but by the time that happened he sometimes forgot. It was very depressing.

But then one day Cyber Cam just…popped in from out of nowhere, or his voice did, and they spent so much time arguing how appropriate it was or wasn't that Dustin almost didn't realize when he was finally finished and the smug super computer just laughed at him.

Ultimately it boiled down to the fact that there were no cameras in the shower room, and that he could bounce all his ideas off of Cyber Cam first so that only the really good ones made it to his boyfriend. It was genius.

Today's topic was pizza.

"I'm not saying that Alfredo sauce is bad," he grumbled, lathering up his hair with excessive amounts of shampoo, "I'm just saying that it doesn't belong on pizza."

Cyber Cam's voice was as amused as it always was. "But pineapple does?"

"Dude," he replied, waving his arm energetically, "it has its moments. Like Christmas. It's great and all, but only because it comes one time of the year. If we had it all the time…"

Cyber Cam finished for him. "It wouldn't be as awesome."

"_Exactly_."

The mechanic scrubbed at the base of his skull, working extra hard to make sure no dirt escaped his attention, before turning around, arching his back to rinse off his hair.

Cyber Cam made an appreciative humming sound, probably just finishing up with whatever Cam had him working on, and changed the subject. "Did the little dude ask Tori out yet?"

_Pff_…_if only_.

"Nope," Dustin replied, tilting his head to avoid getting shampoo in his eye, "they're still dancing around each other."

It was beginning to get a little painful.

Cyber Cam cyber laughed. "That's kind of depressing dude."

Dustin tilted his head the other way, sudsy rivulets streaming their way down towards freedom. "I _know_. They do pretty much everything together. They're always making moony eyes at each other and they're like best friends anyway."

Or attached-at-the-hip, but 'best friends' was easier to say.

"And what could be better than making out with your best friend?"

"Exactly," because he was _so_ right. Except…wait, Shane was his best friend and he wasn't feeling the urge to make out with him anytime soon. So it wasn't a perfect argument. "…well, I think."

"No," double C assured, sounding confident, "you were right."

Well…Shane was really more like a brother to him anyway, like he had surpassed best friend territory a long time ago so…okay, he could handle being right on this one.

"Alright, cool."

Despite the fact that his friend was pretty much a talking encyclopedia, he turned out to be right a lot.

It wasn't doing much for his ego, but it really worked for him.

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_**From: Cam**_

_**Talk dirty to me.**_

…

_**From: Dustin**_

_**Okay**_

...

_**From: Dustin**_

_**I'm cooking spaghetti tonight…**_

…

_**From: Cam**_

_**Oh yeah?**_

…

_**From: Dustin**_

_**Yeah. And when I'm done, I'm not going to wash the pans.**_

…

_**From: Cam**_

_**You're not?**_

…

_**From: Dustin**_

_**Nope, I'm just going to let them fester.**_

…

_**From: Cam**_

_**You're crazy**_

…

_**From: Dustin**_

_**And that's not all**_

…

_**From: Cam**_

_**How much more wild can you get?**_

…

_**From: Dustin**_

_**Tons more, I'm a maniac. **_

…

_**From: Cam**_

_**Completely out of control**_

...

_**From: Dustin**_

_**I'm going to do laundry too.**_

…

_**From: Cam**_

_**Go on…**_

…

_**From: Dustin**_

_**And when I finish, I'm just going to throw it on the floor.**_

…

_**From: Cam**_

_**You animal**_

…

_**From: Dustin**_

_**I know, I know**_

…

_**From: Cam**_

_**But I love you anyway**_

…

_**From: Dustin**_

_**I love you too**_.

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They didn't get a chance to throw their disco dance party in the rain until a few weeks later.

While Dustin found Cam's innocent act sort of endearing whenever the cookies appeared he couldn't help but be a little aggravated whenever the tech pretended he had no idea what Dustin was talking about. At first it was cute, but now Dustin's beginning to think that 'fun Cam' is never going to actually like…talk to _him_.

He told himself that he was being stupid and that Cam just needed time to settle in to things, but the doubt remained.

Like a small pulsing ache in the side of his chest.

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With a pathetic moan and a half-muffled sigh Dustin collapsed onto Cam's bed, sprawling across the plush green comforter in the pitiful hope that he could become one with its comforting goodness. Maybe if he sagged into it enough he could distract his back from the blaring amounts of soreness with the more positive memories he and Cam shared on this particular piece of furniture.

Oh yeah…good times.

There was the time they…oh wait, last week they…

And Cam found out he could…

_Ugh…forget it_.

His spine would not be ignored.

Lips unintentionally assuming the pouting position, he sent pitiful looks Cam's way. "I cannot…feel…my back."

Stupid shipment day. Kelly had him and the thunder rangers unloading boxes from opening time to closing time, and none of them felt like doing them the kindness of being light. It was like Kelly had gone out of her way to pick out the heaviest of whatever items they offered, the heaviest gloves, the heaviest boards. That's what it felt like. Power Ranger or no, it did _not_ do his back any favors.

Cam sent him a half comforting/half amused look before abandoning the work at his desk, crossing over and sitting on the edge of the bed, hand trailing across the material along Dustin's side.

The coy and super sexy smirk that followed let Dustin know that good things were coming, and Cam leaned forward, nuzzling the side of his neck.

Definitely good things.

"I could help fix that," Cam murmured, tracing a finger across the skin right above his waistline, "if you would like."

Oh, Dustin most _certainly_ 'would like'.

They were pretty much the masters of Houdini-ing shirts away at this point (to be honest half the time they really _did _vanish, Dustin had lost at least five shirts to their enthusiasm for make-out time) so it doesn't take long for Dustin to be relieved of that burden before Cam started working on his belt, deft fingers making quick work of his buckle. He squirmed, marveling at how much better the hands-on distraction was compared to his imaginings, and his belt quickly joined a pile with his shirt, which thankfully hadn't been sucked into an alternate dimension this time.

Of course it's here that Cam's generous nature, as well as his speed, ran out, and that devilish smirk that Dustin absolutely adored was fixed in place as the tech took his freaking time undoing the clasp on Dustin's jeans, finger ever-so gradually circling its perimeter before deciding to get to business and _unhook_ the frick'in thing already. The mechanic knew this game, didn't bother trying to change the rules. No kissing, no touching (on his part) until the pants were off. He didn't know why Cam loved it so much, but it made him happy and the end result was mind-blowing-ly amazing so it was worth the happy torture. And it _was_ torture. Dustin tried to swallow a whine, knowing that would only encourage him, and failed miserably, arching against Cam's palm as he tried desperately for more friction. He pouted (yes, pouted, because where Cam had smirking he had _this_) and sent his best _"if you speed this up there will be many great things in it for you" _face that was more familiar than he would have liked it to be.

_Stop teasing_, he glared.

_Stop being gorgeously sexy, you sexy, sexy beast you_, Cam smirked.

…He _may_ have paraphrased a little.

But only a little, he was pretty fluent in Cam facial expressions by this point.

Like how Cam was still rocking the smug face when he finally decided to take mercy on Dustin and reached for his zipper, tracing his finger parallel its length until he reached the top. He grabbed at the pull tab and Dustin could almost taste victory as his boyfriend began to pull it down, agonizingly slow with _just_ the right amount of pressure that if he didn't get Dustin's pants off _soon_ the yellow ranger was going to freaking rip them off _himself_ because the heat was building up so much, sweet and tantalizing and he needed things to start happening before he was just a quivering mess of incoherent nothing and-

A second Cam bursting through the door to the bedroom would have been a lot more…something, Dustin couldn't really think at this point, cool maybe? So, second Cam would have been maybe-cool if he didn't look like he was ready to start murdering people, and whatever mood there had been was instantly vaporized whenever he caught sight of the innocent pile of clothes next to the bed, then to what was happening _on_ the bed, and invented a look that made the first murderous thing of murdering doom look like an overly friendly kindergarten teacher.

Yeah…the mood was dead.

Funny thing, even though he was about to die through an odd sequence of events that would probably make perfect sense considering their circumstances, Dustin's life didn't flash before his eyes. Time slowed down a little, or maybe it didn't, maybe _kill-you_ Cam was fuming so completely still that Dustin and bed-Cam couldn't help but freeze with him, but whatever the reason, Dustin had more time to evaluate whatever was going on. Other Cam was tense, fists curling at his sides and…what was that? Sheets? Rope, maybe? Something around his wrists and…

He pulled out a remote, Dustin instantly recognizing that it was the controller to Cyber Cam, and the boyfriend above him disappeared, leaving him half-naked, embarrassed, and alone while real Cam ripped the remaining restraints off his arm with more enthusiasm than was distinctly necessary. Not that Dustin would judge him.

So…this explained a lot of things.

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The steady tappity-tap-tap of Cam's many keystrokes was something that Dustin found strangely soothing, and while he knew that Cam was probably going to work day and night until he discovered every last bit of programming data stuff that allowed Cyber Cam to go rogue, Dustin couldn't help but make a humorous observation.

He laughed, bouncing lightly and fully re-clothed on Cam's bed. "I guess you made him just a little too realistic huh?"

Cam's fingers halted on the keyboard, and the tech finally turned around to give him an irritated look, but he simply shrugged, unapologetic.

Who knew that being too good at something would come back to haunt you?

Cam sighed, and a second later Dustin was being pushed back onto the bed, real-boyfriend making up for the loss of real-time. Dustin laughed again, soaking up the sensation.

So he should probably be a lot more freaked out by this, but at the end of the day he couldn't help but think of it as an amusing anecdote. That Cam's super program glitched into having a super crazy-stalkerish crush on him, and attempted to woo him through lies and deceit and probably cookies and text messages that real-Cam really didn't know anything about.

He should probably feel violated, because apparently there _were_ cameras in the showers, or that Cyber Cam knew them both so well, but at the end of the day…

_Eh,_ rogue robot, tied-up boyfriend, cookies…well, everything had been made right and it wasn't like everything that had happened had been awful anyway, so he's just willing to chuck it up to another day in the life of a Power Ranger.

He's found that just keeping that in mind kept his brain safe from scarring.

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><p>Endnotes:<p>

You know how during Ninja Storm there's a love potion episode? Well, while I was writing one of my longer stories my sister and I were brainstorming ideas for interesting alternatives for how the episode could go and she came up with the cracky idea of Cyber Cam trying to hit on Dustin. At first he was supposed to be hysterically bad at it, like the most awful of wooings, but I started writing it and ended up with this sort of fluff piece.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Until next time.


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